This holiday season won't be "normal" for anyone. We're staying home, skipping annual traditions, and missing loved ones. It's a weird situation, a tough time for all of us, but I found something that helps me feel better about the situation, and I hope it might help you, too.
Replace worry with curiosity. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D. suggests that, although catastrophes occur, typically what we fear most does not come to pass. Understanding this, and replacing fear about the future with curiosity about what might happen can keep us from despair. "And if you’re not despairing," DiMarco says in this Psychology Today article, "you’re far more likely to come up with effective ways for coping with the situation in question, whether it’s devising a schedule for quarantine school days or figuring out how you can safely see school friends outdoors for your kid’s birthday...
"This year, sadly, we can’t uphold many of our beloved family holiday traditions. But does this automatically mean that the holidays will be an unmitigated disaster? Is it perhaps possible that we can engineer new traditions that, while not the same as our old ones, will be welcome, and maybe even a little bit fun?
"Tack the phrase 'I wonder…' in front of your feared outcomes (as in, 'I wonder what it will be like spending Thanksgiving at our house?'). Merely adding those two simple words can go a long way toward helping you keep hopelessness at bay."
This tactic has worked for me (at least when I remember to use it:). It helps me to avoid projecting into the future, and it seems eminently practical--hasn't this past year shown us we have no idea what the future holds? And I love the word "wonder" as it implies not just curiosity, but a sense of awe.
I wonder what this holiday season will offer us?